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How They Met

To be able to tell you how they met, I need to tell you a little bit about them. First off, I must tell you about Graz. Now, Graz is an ogre, a member of the Cavic clan. Unlike most ogres, who are nearly six feet tall, Graz stood barely over four feet. Yes, she was of a greenish hue, but she also had the most vibrant red mane that ran from the top of her head down to the small of her back and the back of her legs. She was also the head nurse in the city of Sauga, and believe me, she earned it. She took no gruff from anyone, and she could swear to the point where she could make an ogre warlord blush. Yes, Graz is the pride of her clan.

Now, Kell was a dark elf who belonged to the guild Fellows of the Good. I know, I know, it's a bit funny that a group of dark elves would have that as a guild name, but that guild name was picked in honor of their greatest warrior, Jimroy, who had saved the village many times over and whose statue stands in the middle of town. But that's another story and not really mine to tell. Kell had tried on her own to make dark elves more welcome to the other races and had taken on the job of being a transporter. What made her unique was the fact that she could transport up to fifteen members of a group to any quest site when most could only take seven. She stands six feet tall and has a strange guitar-shaped tail, but if I were you, I would not make any comment about that, for Kell is known to insult you harshly, and you will feel the burn in your nether regions!

As it happened, Kell was transporting a small group to take on Missa, the red dragon. In the group were three centaur archers and two humans, one a warrior and the other a bard. They landed right in front of Missa's cave, but unfortunately, some other group had challenged the dragon and lost, so Missa had a perfect view of their backside and gave them quite the hotfoot! Kell, in a flash, transported the group out of there and right to the hospital in Sauga.

Graz was not happy to have a group like this suddenly appear at the front door. Not that she wasn't used to it, but this group had three centaurs in it! Here's a little-known fact about centaurs: centaurs like eating pasta with plenty of garlic and onions, Limburger cheese, and hot peppers—the hotter, the better—and lots and lots of tacos. That's why it can be very hazardous to your health to stand behind a centaur. The gases expelled by a centaur can make a dragon woozy, and the other stuff that comes out of a centaur's backside comes out like it was spewed by a firehose. So you can understand why Graz did not like applying ointment to this group's backside. The two humans and Kell were no problem, but things got contentious when it came to the centaurs' turn. Graz started to swear, and Kell took offense and insulted Graz. Never insult an ogre unless you want to hear a lot of swearing. The insults flew, and the swearing flew until finally, the fists began to fly. The other nurses joined in, and that's when one of the nurses swung at the warrior, missed, and hit one of the centaurs square in the stomach. Everything digested by the centaur in the past two days came flying out of his rear end, and of course, the other two centaurs, seeing this, did the same. The fumes from this mess caused everyone else to spew away until the entire ward looked like it was hit by a tidal wave of crap. Everyone ran outside to catch their breath and breathe fresh air, and once everyone saw how they looked, well, they couldn't stop laughing, with Kell and Graz laughing the hardest. Just after that, they became the best of friends.

So I have heard that after many years of them being companions, they have plans of getting married. This should prove to be interesting since both dark elves and ogres love having a celebration of any sort to start a brawl. I even heard that the cooks have been ordered to triple the food so there will be plenty to eat and throw, and tons of plates, glasses, forks, and knives, bandages and ointments to keep everyone happy. Also, I hear that all the nurses, the humans, and the centaurs are also invited, so I think it is best that I wear my best suit of armor and probably a gas mask or two. I am sure it will be an affair to remember.

Quest well, my friends.

____Mystikos Samaritan____

© Copyright 2023 Kenneth G Brennan

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