There is a frog known by the name of Ronnie who is quite rude to all who pass by. He is notorious for making both women and even nuns blush furiously with his rude comments, but he saves his most vulgar remarks for the gentlemen. In fact, he torments them to the point that these gentlemen swear back at him, even tossing rocks in his direction. However, Ronnie always manages to evade them by diving into the pond, laughing all the way.
One day, Ronnie was sitting on his lily pad when he spotted a beautiful butterfly passing by. "Hey dragonfly, what are you up to?" he called out. The butterfly turned to him and said in a sweet voice, "Why thank you, mister toad, it was nice of you to notice me." Ronnie was slightly annoyed because frogs and toads did not get along. "Excuse me, but I am a frog and my name is Ron," he retorted. The butterfly smiled and replied, "Well my name is Alice, and are you sure you are a frog? You look more like a toad to me, warts and all." This remark made Ronnie quite steamed; in fact, smoke would have come out of his ears if he had any. He stood up to his full fourteen inches and yelled, "I am not a toad!" He flicked his tongue at her, but Alice simply dodged it, laughing, and said as she flew away, "Sorry, but I don't kiss on a first date."
The next day, Ronnie was sitting on his lily pad stewing about the previous day when suddenly he felt something hit him on the top of his head. He grabbed it and saw that it was a succulent fly, which he quickly popped into his mouth. "I hope you liked that," said Alice, floating above him. "I'm sorry I upset you yesterday by calling you a toad, so I thought I'd make amends by treating you to lunch." Alice showed Ronnie the picnic basket she was carrying and opened it up, saying, "Please have a taste." Ronnie flicked his tongue into the basket, but this time his tongue did not recoil. "How... what the... well?" Ronnie exclaimed in shock. "Oh, sorry," said Alice with a giggle, "I hope you don't mind, but I marinated those flies in honey. Enjoy!" Alice started to leave but flew back laughing, "Oh, by the way, I want the basket back; it belongs to my mom!" And off she went, flying erratically, laughing all the way.
The following day, Alice flew over to the pond to see how Ronnie was doing. She saw him sitting on his lily pad with her basket when she also saw a snake slowly approaching him. "Don't move, there's a snake coming!" she yelled, hurling a grape at the snake and hitting it square on the head. The snake stopped its approach towards Ronnie, coiled, and then launched itself straight up towards Alice. At this point, Ronnie did something he had never done before. With the most tremendous leap of his life, Ronnie grabbed the snake by its head and middle and landed on the ground, holding on with a death grip. "Can you jump five feet to your right?" asked Alice. Ronnie immediately moved in that direction. "Now, make three jumps of five feet directly in front of you," instructed Alice, and Ronnie complied. "Now I want you to jump straight up, and before you reach the top of your jump, let the snake go!" Ronnie did as Alice asked, and as he released the snake, Alice slammed into it, sending both her and the snake spiraling down into a ravine below. Ronnie was shaking, but his primary thought was for Alice, and you can just imagine his relief when he saw Alice fluttering back up.
Since that day, Ronnie and Alice have been a couple living together, and yes, Ronnie's favorite food is honey-covered flies. So the next time you pass by a pond and hear an extremely rude comment followed by sweet girlish laughter, know that both Alice and Ronnie are doing well. But just remember, don't call that frog a toad!
____Mystikos Samaritan ____
